Helping Teens Deal With Peer Pressure
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Parents take lots of precautions to keep their children from getting in
trouble. They teach them what they think is right and try to keep them
from succumbing to negative peer pressure. But kids will be kids no
matter what you do and sometimes they make mistakes. The important part
is what you do after. If your teen is being influenced by other teens,
there are some steps you can take to help them get back on track.
When my daughter was young her friend’s parents hated her. She wasn’t a bad
seed; She rarely did anything wrong, but that’s not what their kids told
them. They blamed her when they got caught breaking the rules. The worst
part? They usually got away with it. Many kids place blame because they
know they won’t be held accountable. Even if you know most of the fault
lies with your child’s friend, you should still put some responsibility
on your child. They need to learn to be held accountable for their own
actions and that includes their choice of friends.
If your child insists that their friend was totally to blame and they
couldn’t get out if it, you should teach them how to get out of bad
situations. Role play; come up with various things they can say or do.
Remind them that if their friend won’t listen and insists on dragging
them along; they can just leave and call you to come get them. Usually
the simple act of calling a parent will cause the friend to rethink
their actions.
Explain to your child that, while you’re not in charge of their friends,
you are in charge of them. You should develop a plan to determine if and
when your child is allowed to hang out with their friend again. Set
specific rules and limits, along with goals to meet to have these limits
lifted. Make them understand that your trust must be earned back.
Remember that not all peer pressure is negative. You can’t choose your
children’s friends, but you can encourage them to hang out with friends
who exhibit positive peer pressure. If they have friends who are
behaving and following the rules, they’ll be more likely to follow them
too.
